hmmmmm......
how to start this blog.
i guess first i should apologize, i haven't had the time to blog these past few weeks. honestly not much has happened. so don't feel left out, k?
for reals though.
things have been odd lately.
i'm more confused now then ever. i've never had the desire really to get married or even *shudder* have kids. maybe in time that will change but my whole life i've been fine with living my life alone.
you see, i'm one of......2 ....i believe at work that aren't married. and the other one just called off her wedding so does she really count in the tally? idk. anyway. everyone i talk to asks about my love life, or maybe they don't ask, but you can just see it in their eyes. it always reads the same.
i always stood my ground. marriage was not in my plans.
not ever.
but maybe.....
hobby lobby is close to some colleges meaning we get a lot of boys out on 'the hunt' and somehow.... i get all the weird ones.... i've actually begun to wear a fake engagement ring but lately i've transferred to my mom's past engagement ring. it's seemed to help in the way of making the boys go away but it's seemed that my heart maybe changing. i see these amazing couples walking the aisles holding hands and being all lovey dovey. it used to make me gag. now i find myself staring at them, daydreaming of what may be for my life. i listen to my friends at work talk about their loved one and i start to long for what they have. now i know it's not all butterflies and happiness every single moment but atleast there is someone to hold you close when you're lost. is that so bad to want? have i had a change of heart?
everyone around me is in love. everyone has a hand to hold. and i feel so confused. once upon a time noone needed to hold my hand for i could handle everything on my own, by myself. i can still handle my life...
but i would like someone to call my own.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
small miracles
ever had one of those days that everything goes wrong? where all you want to do is sit down in a nice dark little corner and cry? where you would give everything you've ever had just to stop the day? today was one of those. but i must say, i must be growing. must be turning into someone......better.... because everytime something happened that was not in my favor something else also happened. something that made me smile. even if it was a small smile.
last night Craig (my supervisor in framing) gave me a list of things to get done today.
1. condense the clearance aisle to 2 panels for the new frames
2. unpack the 145 boxes in the back room into carts
3. get all the frames up on the clearance aisle and then to the top caps that are available
*have done by 5 pm*
it took me 3 hours to condense that aisle. only to find out from my boss that HE didn't want it done and that i needed to re stretch it out. O_o a few minutes later...crash.. a frame fell off the shelf and shattered. as i cleaned up the mess....yup....split my finger open. bled all of the floor. i cleaned up the even bigger mess and as i came back to the aisle i look up. there's Cathy, my most awesome cousin, just waiting for me to notice her. i took a break and laughed with her for a few minutes. it was so good!
after that i headed back to the backroom to keep working on those stupid boxes. those boxes made me sick or something. some of the boxes where covered in black mold. i washed my hands all the time but as time went on i started to get sicker. i was almost throwing up, i couldn't see straight, i just felt... wrong. i took a break and started to feel better. just then Mylan walks up to me, "Good mornin Little Miss!" i just looked at him, "You alright My?" "Why of course Little One!" "But you just said, 'mornin'.....it's past 3!" "Yes, i know, but it's morning somewhere right?!" i couldn't help but smile. and he even came to help me go through the boxes. :D
and the best part of the day? my shift was over. i was walking out the door. stress in the form of tears left my body. i had lost it. long day, too much stress and i didn't even finish the list that Craig left for me. and right there, just waiting for me, my mom. what an amazing thing.
more little things like that happened through out the day but i wont bore you with those stories. i guess i'm just trying to say that the darker the night, the brighter the stars shine. even the faintest light can be blinding.
last night Craig (my supervisor in framing) gave me a list of things to get done today.
1. condense the clearance aisle to 2 panels for the new frames
2. unpack the 145 boxes in the back room into carts
3. get all the frames up on the clearance aisle and then to the top caps that are available
*have done by 5 pm*
it took me 3 hours to condense that aisle. only to find out from my boss that HE didn't want it done and that i needed to re stretch it out. O_o a few minutes later...crash.. a frame fell off the shelf and shattered. as i cleaned up the mess....yup....split my finger open. bled all of the floor. i cleaned up the even bigger mess and as i came back to the aisle i look up. there's Cathy, my most awesome cousin, just waiting for me to notice her. i took a break and laughed with her for a few minutes. it was so good!
after that i headed back to the backroom to keep working on those stupid boxes. those boxes made me sick or something. some of the boxes where covered in black mold. i washed my hands all the time but as time went on i started to get sicker. i was almost throwing up, i couldn't see straight, i just felt... wrong. i took a break and started to feel better. just then Mylan walks up to me, "Good mornin Little Miss!" i just looked at him, "You alright My?" "Why of course Little One!" "But you just said, 'mornin'.....it's past 3!" "Yes, i know, but it's morning somewhere right?!" i couldn't help but smile. and he even came to help me go through the boxes. :D
and the best part of the day? my shift was over. i was walking out the door. stress in the form of tears left my body. i had lost it. long day, too much stress and i didn't even finish the list that Craig left for me. and right there, just waiting for me, my mom. what an amazing thing.
more little things like that happened through out the day but i wont bore you with those stories. i guess i'm just trying to say that the darker the night, the brighter the stars shine. even the faintest light can be blinding.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)