pain

I attempted to run a marathon this past Saturday. I have been training for months for this. I was totally ready. Yeah, I was scared out of my mind. But the more I talked to Breanna and Tairsa the better I felt.
And when we were standing at the top of the canyon surrounded by all those people I was so pumped for this! The gun went off. The mass of people started moving. This was it!!
Running with Breanna was a lot of fun! But I kinda started faster then I'm used to and I knew I had to slow down. So I said Later to her and slowed my pace. When I got the right speed I felt good again! And by mile 2 1/2 I had started talking to my Dad. You may think I'm crazy but talking to him really helps me and that's what I usually do when I run. Under my breath I whispered how I wished he was here to see me and out of nowhere I heard this "Good morning beautiful!" I turned to see this Tongan guy behind me just smiling. His name is Kelly. Or Kellie, I'm not sure how to spell it. He was my speed and man, I must say we were a power team!!! We were slow but steady and slowly passing people. We talked about everything! I swear I know him better then most of my friends! ;)
For almost eight miles we stuck together just laughing and trading running tips. He seriously is awesome! And I'll be looking for him next year!
We had just passed mile ten when my hip started to feel really tight. I was starting to limp. Started to run slower and slower. I told Kelly(ie) to keep going and that I would catch up in a few minutes. He didn't want to leave but I told him I would be fine and so he kept going. I kicked my leg a few times and started to run again. It was slower then my normal pace. Nothing really felt right. Every now and then it felt like a rubber band being stretched too far, it would snap and the pain would go away. So I would pick up my pace and keep going. Before I knew it the pain was so bad that I had to walk. I told myself that I would be OK to walk the rest of the race. It would be better then pulling out. My walking got even slower and every other time I would pick up my left leg pain would shoot through my leg. I would have to just stand there until the pain went away enough that I could put my foot back on the ground and keep going.
By mile 13 I was done. I was doing serious damage and I had to stop. I talked to the EMT people and before I had even finished telling them about my pain they rolled their eyes and handed me a caffeine pill. They sprayed my leg when I refused to take the pill. They called in my number and DQed me. I sat down on the side of the road and started to cry.

The pain was horrible. But I have never not finished a race. The pain in failing was killing me. A sweet volunteer lady came over with a banana and water and sat with me. She gave me a hug and talked to me until I finally had enough control to stop crying. A friend that I had made earlier during the race was just coming up. I told her what happened, that my mom was only a mile away, that I wasn't going to be able to finish. A car was coming up for me in 20 minutes. My race was over. Just when the tears were starting to come back a girl came running up and passed out a few feet behind me. Jen smiled, grabbed my arm and pulled me up. She said this was my chance and we started walking down the canyon again. I called my mom on Jen's cell and told her everything. My pride had been seriously wounded enough. I was not going to be shipped off in some car. I couldn't finish the race but I was going to walk to my mom. The physical pain wasn't going to stop me from walking off with whatever pride I had left.

I waddled all the way to my mom.
I cried all day too. The physical pain I could deal with, the pain in not finishing was the worst I've felt.
I've been diagnosed with Tendonosis which is little tiny tears in the tendon. The only treatment is rest, ice and pain killers.
My running season is over for the year. In about 4 months my tendon will be healed and in 6 months I can start running again.
This will be a long 6 months......